A Little Dose of Mommy Guilt

It never fails.

We have been  cruising along through another crazy week and I have been trying to juggle it all without dropping any balls. (Which I could never do without help from my husband!)

This week in particular I had to work a lot later/more than usual. Our school was in charge of hosting the District Governor's Cup Academic tournament. I was in charge of the event. It meant staying really late Tuesday night and being available for people to come grade parts of the competition two other nights. I also had to be at school all day on Saturday. Throw in the mix that Jake got sick on Wednesday, Greg got sick Thursday evening, Andy got sick Friday night and Jake had minor surgery Friday morning to get a second set of tubes placed in his ears. On Wednesday, Greg and I traded back and forth to take care of Jake. We both had things we couldn't reschedule and fortunately they weren't at the same times. 

Saturday evening when I got home and finally sat down, Noah came up and asked if he could ride with me to get something for everyone for supper because, " I haven't spent any time with you by myself this week, Mommy". 

Dagger.  In the heart.

So of course I said yes and tried to be completely attentive to him while we went out. I was about to fall over at that point, but I think I was sufficiently "present". 

Tonight, I took Andy with me by himself to Kroger. You would've thought I gave him a million dollars. He was so excited to just be with me. I watched a movie with Noah this afternoon and we both fell asleep. I spent all day playing with Jake on Friday. We did everything-- blocks, puzzles, books, car racing, and watched Mickey Mouse. 

It really is simple. They just want us to be present. Whether it is reading a story, watching a movie  snuggled up on the couch, or playing a game, they want to be near us and have our attention.  

The only problem is, with four kids, I never feel like I have ENOUGH time to spend giving each child the attention they crave. AND-- somewhere in it all I'm supposed to have a clean house, keep laundry done, homework checked, make sure they are all reading enough, brushing teeth, bathing, and getting biblical instruction.  Oh, and I'm supposed to make time for date nights and time with my husband and be a friend, serve others, be involved in my church, volunteer with my kids' classes, get my work done and be available at school. 

WHEW!!!!

Today, I am waving the white flag. I cannot be everything to everybody. 

I do want to be the best Mom I can be for these four crazy boys. I hope when they look back on their childhood, they remember the times I spent building train tracks, racing cars, reading books and playing games. 

Please tell me I am not alone. I know other moms have to feel this way. What do you do to try to spend quality time with each of your kiddos?