Winning the War

Somedays, I am seriously at my wits end!!

At various points through this journey of parenting I have thought I wouldn't survive it. Trying to be consistent with one child is difficult. Trying to be consistent with three at the same time (soon to be four) is exhausting. It would just be SO easy sometimes to give in, let them do what they want, grant their request - no matter how ridiculous. Then maybe there wouldn't be a tantrum or foot stomping session. Maybe there would never be any ugly words uttered?

BUT - that would be directly in opposition to what I know I should do.

In reality, parenting is not just about carpool, picking out clothes, determining good food choices and monitoring your child's behavior. My eyes are set on loftier goals: I want my children to know and love God, to be beacons in a world of darkness, to be considerate of others, to take care of their property and respect others. These goals will not be accomplished without some SERIOUS elbow grease.

My mom used to tell us when we were cleaning or doing some task around the house - "Don't just give it a lick and a promise!".

I remember thinking - "What in the world does that mean?".

Now I know :) Funny how becoming a parent helps you finally "get" so many things your parent tried to teach you 20 years ago.

Parenting is not something I get to do over. It is not a job I can walk away from, take a vacation from or decide to "get to it tomorrow". It is the here and now. There are teachable moments every day - in fact - every hour at my house. There are times that it seems so easy and then days when I think I seriously cannot make it through. Fortunately, I am surrounded by family, friends and my amazing husband to encourage me.

I cannot tell you how many times a prayer has been answered and God has delivered!!!

Right now, I seem to be having a particularly hard time with my just turned 6 year old. We are not sure what is going on - it could be a phase. But everything seems to be a battle. He has a short fuse and even the smallest request of him (pick up clothes, throw away trash, help his brother, etc.) can evoke a "tantrum". He has always been such a sweet child. He loves people and can be very affectionate. It seems that the more rigid a schedule he is on, the better he acts. With it being summer, our schedule has been a lot less rigid. This has made the situation a little more difficult.

Fortunately, God seems to know that my patience is very thin and my will sometimes wavers. I think this must be why my other two sons seem to know and understand that I cannot handle major issues with either of them right now. They are fortunately being very cooperative. Whenever I have a moment or situation that I feel is particularly trying, someone appears to help out. Today was no exception. My son and I were already going head to head this morning over something that I simply could not budge on - it was too important. I did not raise my voice. I did not make idle threats. I stated the situation simply and clearly. When he shouted or said things that were unkind, I told him we were not going to talk that way and restated the choice he had to make. This went on for about 20 minutes. Then he finally made the right choice. Twenty minutes later, my mother-in-law arrived to take all three boys for the entire day to her house.

God ALWAYS takes care of me :)

Here is something I know - there are always going to be battles. I am not going to win every single one of them. Sometimes certain battles are not worth being fought. I just have to keep my eyes on the ultimate goal of winning the war. I know that this is not the first "phase" I have waded through and it will certainly not be the last. We haven't even gotten close to the teenage years, yet!!!!

I am not trying to be my child's friend right now - I am their parent. BIG difference, right? Even if it hurts, they don't have to like me. They don't have to agree with my decisions or like our rules. Ultimately though, I pray that these decisions we make, the rules we set and the battles we do win are for their good. We are molding them into the adults they will become. NO pressure, right?

Now I am going to go enjoy my kid-free day and re-energize for when they return home :)