What is Grace Based Parenting?

I get to lead a bible study for other moms at our church called Mommy Time. I think this is the fourth year we have been meeting. Some moms have drifted in and out of the study as their work and family situations have changed. We try to meet 6 times a semester on Friday mornings. Our church graciously coordinates child care for our little ones that are still at home. We take turns bringing breakfast items and there is always coffee!

Some of the studies we have done have been Esther by Beth Moore, Praying the Scriptures for Your Children, a couple of Jen Hatmaker books and various topical studies. This semester, we are reading through the book, Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmell. We have currently read through the first two chapters. We are going to be discussing the third chapter this Friday. In the first two chapters we basically explored what he classifies as the different styles of parenting and how grace-based parenting is different from those. He gives the biblical basis for grace-based parenting and examples of what it looks like to not extend any or very little grace as well as extending too much "grace" or corrupting grace.

Overall I would say the basic idea I have understood so far is that we are all extended grace from our Heavenly Father. He forgives us of our sins and asks us to live a life of willing obedience. He nurtures us, teaches us and guides us. If God has granted us grace and forgives us, how can we not in turn extend grace and forgiveness to our children?

This does not equal a license for children to do whatever they want because we live under grace. In fact, he refers to Paul's writings to show how this is not scriptural. In Romans 6:1-2 he writes, "What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?".

My first hesitation upon picking up this book was in thinking that it was going to be a book about overly permissive parenting. My fears about this were quickly addressed and dismissed. I am obviously still in the beginning chapters of the book, but I am pleased with what I have read so far. It makes a great deal of sense.

As with any book, I think we have to temper its ideals with our own conviction from the Holy Spirit. I would counsel against completely changing your style of parenting without some thought and plenty of prayer. Our children need consistency, not us riding the current fad in regards to parenting. What works for one family, may not necessarily work in its entirety for the next family.

It is my prayer, though, that my children will realize our attempt to show God's love, grace and forgiveness - EVEN WHEN THEY ARE NOT "DESERVING" OF IT! By definition, is that not what God so richly bestows upon each of us?